White coat. Heels.
My balls are so social today.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
