Pappa wants mamma naked
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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