Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize