Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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