I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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