dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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