It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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