I wanna passion pit in your ass
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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