Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize