All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
