and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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