i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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