Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
