Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
