xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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