I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
