it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
