You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So many bounce houses so little time
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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