the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
