he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
that's an acceptable place to lick
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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