I'm jealous of your bromance
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
