he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
