the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
