I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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