I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
