there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
is it fun? or sober?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
