I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize