As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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