This girl is more easily done than said...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
