i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
