So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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