...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
