You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He felt like a one man threesome
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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