He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sorry about my life...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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