i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
