so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
