He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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