We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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