i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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