On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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