M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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