You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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