while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
