She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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