She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
