somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"