operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.