did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.