Nicole vs. Life
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.