Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
