Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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