What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This is my life. Enjoy the view
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
