No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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