Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
