Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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