i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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