If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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