Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
