i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
