Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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