I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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