To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
