i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize