90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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