It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
