Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
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