I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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